Surviving Your Partner

Restructuring your life

LOSING A SHARED LIFE

Being part of someone else

When a relationship develops into a permanent partnership of some kind, you and the other person evolve into a single unit. The changes taking place will have been so slow and subtle that at the time neither of you may have been aware of them. But in time you will have been able to anticipate each other's thoughts and needs without speaking; you will have known your partner's attitudes so well that you could have voiced them yourself.

In fact, you will have become as familiar with your partner's personality as with your own.

All this, which grew so slowly and gradually, is snatched away suddenly and brutally, and it is only when the shared life has gone for ever that you realise just how strong were those inter-twining bonds. Now you are going to have to rebuild your personality and your life so that you can function again on your own. You are going to have to become an independent person.

A SUMMARY OF 'RESTRUCTURING YOUR LIFE'

1. Learning to manage without your partner means growing into a different, independent person.
2. Making a definite action plan can help you to restructure your life.
3. There are many changes, major and minor, that you can choose to make for yourself.
4. The timing and nature of the changes you make are up to you, not other people.

DISCUSSION POINTS OF 'RESTRUCTURING YOUR LIFE'

The discussion points at the end of each chapter aim to help you to relate the subject matter to your own circumstances. Suggested ways of approaching the issues are given in a separate section at the end of the book.

1. Would you find it easy to assume your independence? What would you have to learn to do for yourself?
2. What would be the priorities in your Action Plan?
3. Would you find a move to a new house or new job stimulating or too stressful to contemplate?
4. How do you feel about the task of clearing out your partner's personal belongings?

Please note: These are extracts taken from the book, 'Surviving Your Partner'. If you would like to buy the book please click here