Surviving Your Partner

Living alone


SURVIVING YOUR PARTNERIf you have no children, or none still living at home, and your household was composed simply of yourself and your partner, your problems are going to be centred around adjusting to living alone. After the shock of the death, the upheaval and fuss of the funeral, the well meaning presence of friends and relatives, you may feel a tremendous sense of relief when you finally manage to shut the front door and be alone for the first time. At last you have time to weep in private, at last you can just sit and go over the events surrounding the death without interruption. You can wander around the place you shared together and bring back memories at will. You can, at last, begin to establish a circle of peace around the memories of your dead partner.

You can eat or not eat, have a drink or a smoke, look at photograph albums, weed the garden, watch television, read a book, play music, have a conversation with your departed partner, or simply do nothing at all, and nobody will object or try to distract you. Your time is your own.


  1. It can be a relief for a bereaved partner to be left alone grieve in peace.
  2. It can be very difficult to adjust to the routines of life without your partner.
  3. Sometimes well-meaning help can begin to seem like interference.
  4. Sensible precautions should be taken against accidents or break-ins.


The discussion points at the end of each chapter aim to help you to relate the subject matter to your own circumstances. Suggested ways of approaching the issues are given in a separate section at the end of the book.

  1. Could you judge whether a bereaved friend is ready to be left on their own?
  2. What sort of memory list would you need to make?
  3. How could you change your home and its routines without feeling you are trying to erase your partner's memory?

Please note: These are extracts taken from the book, 'Surviving Your Partner'. If you would like to buy the book please click here